Does Insecurity Make You Toxic?

Are you sometimes overwhelmed with self-doubt?


Afraid to pursue an idea?

Work towards a goal?

If the answer is yes, your so-called BFF could be the reason why!

Self-doubt and negative self talk by crazy looking guy
This Is Fred. Someone’s BFF.


No. We’re not talking about that great support-pal who always takes your side unless you “really need to hear the truth”. The one who’s always good for a twenty, listens your latest beefs and gives up their movie choice if it’s really really important for you to see yours.

We’re not talking about God either.  

We’re talking about your OTHER best friend. 

The one you speak to every single day. First thing in the morning. Each and every hour. 

That’s right. Yourself.

We use our inner voice to converse with constantly.

This voice has a huge influence in our lives.

Negative or positive. 

It can make us feel good about ourselves, give us courage and guide us to reach goals.

Or it verbally abuses us, paralyzes progress, and causes failure.



Our inner voice is hard to control too.

It interrupts our thoughts at the worst times.  

You can’t do it…You’re so stupid… What a dummy…Give up…You’re such a loser…Why try…You’ll never win…You’re too ugly, dumb, clumsy, lazy, unlikeable______…  You can fill in the blanks.


Bad inner voice! Bad friend!


Now imagine a loving mother or father conversing with their child. Would such a parent EVER say such awful things?

Of course not.

Yet, we allow our inner voice to abuse us all the time. We subject ourselves to negative self-talk over and over again. It damages our thoughts and causes insecurity. They distract us and anchors us from success.

How unfair is that?

So how do we fix it?



Change negative self-talk into positive reinforcement. 

Encouraging words are like a motor that pushes us through the toughest waves of life. Managing hurdles and setbacks is much easier when we ‘self-talk’  though the hard times with positivity and optimism.

So focus on what you’re saying to yourself. 

Be a good coach.

A good friend.

Imagine you’re encouraging a loved one who’s in the same situation as yourself and replace chastisement with reassurance and praise.

Use words like, “You can figure it out… Don’t give up… Keep trying…You can do this…You’re smart…you’re capable…”

You’d say that to anyone else, right?

So why not to yourself as well!

If you’re angry, take a few seconds to calm down. Just as a parent does before he disciplines his child.

Promise yourself you’ll try harder next time and ask, ‘is this really so bad I can’t overcome it?”

Truth is, mistakes and failures are a natural occurrence in life. They’re the building blocks for learning.

How we react to these events is a key to life’s victories!

So conquer self-doubt and find the courage to pursue your goals with the positive support from another good friend. 



Here’s some books on Amazon that might help…

  Positive Thinking

Attitude Overhaul

3 Replies to “Does Insecurity Make You Toxic?”

  1. I’ve had my own insecurities and thankfully I’m over them now. But your advice is really helpful.

  2. Love your article simple advise with great results if taking in practice to one.
    I will be following your advice. Really appreciate this =D

    Have a Great Day!

    1. Thanks Andres! It’s written from firsthand experience. I hope it works for you!

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