Does Insecurity Make You Toxic?

Have you ever been overwhelmed with unfounded self-doubt? Insecurity?

Afraid to pursue a dream?

Work towards a desire?

If the answer is yes, your BFF could be the reason why. They could be the one stopping you!

Someone’s BFF.

You’re probably thinking, how do you know my best friend Fred?  Why blame him?

Well, Fred isn’t the lifelong BFF we’re talking about. Here’s a better hint.

Who do you speak to the most every single day? First thing in the morning? Each and every hour? Nearly every minute until the sun sets?

That’s right. Yourself.

We use our inner voice to converse with constantly. This voice has a huge influence in our lives be it positive or negative.

It can make us feel good about ourselves, give us courage and guide us to success.

Or it verbally abuses us, paralyzes forward moment and causes failure.

Our inner voice can be very hard to control too. Interrupting our thoughts at the worst times.  You can’t do it…You’re so stupid… What a dummy…Give up…You’re such a loser…Why try…You’ll never win…You’re too ugly, dumb, clumsy, lazy, unlikeable______…  You can fill in the blanks.

Bad inner voice! Bad friend!


Now imagine a loving mother or father conversing with their child. Would such a parent EVER say such awful things?

Of course not.

Yet, we allow our inner voice to speak to us like that all the time. We subject ourselves to abusive self-talk over and over again. These words cause damaging thoughts and insecurity. They distract us and anchor us from success.

How unfair is that?

So we do we do about it?


Negative self-talk can be turned into positive reinforcement and a powerful source for achievement. Encouraging words are like a boat motor that pushes us the toughest waves of life. Conquering  hurdles and setbacks is much easier when we ‘self-talk’ with positivity and optimism.

So focus on what you’re saying to yourself and be a good coach. A good parent. Imagine you’re encouraging a loved one who’s in the same situation as yourself and replace the chastisement with reassurance and praise.

Use words like, “You can figure it out… Don’t give up… Keep trying…You can rock this…You’re smart and capable…”

And if you’re angry, take a few seconds to calm down. Just as a parent does before he disciplines his child. Promise yourself you’ll try harder next time and ask, ‘is this really so bad I can’t overcome it?”

Truth is, mistakes and failures are a natural occurrence in life. They’re the building blocks for learning. How we react to these natural events is the real key to life’s victories!

So conquer self-doubt and find the courage to pursue your dreams with the positive support from your lifelong BFF.



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